A helpful Grammar post

http://litreactor.com/columns/20-common-grammar-mistakes-that-almost-everyone-gets-wrong

“Nor” expresses a negative condition. It literally means "and not." You’re obligated to use the “nor” form if your sentence expresses a negative and follows it with another negative condition. “Neither the men nor the women were drunk” is a correct sentence because “nor” expresses that the women held the same negative condition as the men. The old rule is that “nor” typically follows “neither,” and “or” follows “either.” However, if neither “either” nor “neither” is used in a sentence, you should use “nor” to express a second negative, as long as the second negative is a verb. If the second negative is a noun, adjective, or adverb, you would use “or,” because the initial negative transfers to all conditions. e.g., He won’t eat broccoli or asparagus. The negative condition expressing the first noun (broccoli) is also used for the second (asparagus).

A Monologue by Joan of Arc from 'Saint Joan' by George Bernard Shaw

Joan:

"Yes, they told me you were fools and that I was not to listen to your fine words nor

trust to your charity. You promised me my life but you lied. You think that life is nothing but

not being stone dead. It is not the bread and water I fear: bread has no sorrow for me, and

water no affliction. But to shut me from the light of the sky, and the sight of the fields and

flowers, to chain my feet so that I can never again ride with the soldiers nor climb the hills;

to make me breathe foul damp darkness, and keep me from everything that brings me back

to the love of God when your wickedness and foolishness tempt me to hate Him. All this is

worse than the furnace in the Bible that was heated seven times. I could do without my

warhorse, I could drag about in a skirt. I could let the banners and the trumpets and the

knights and soldiers pass me and leave me behind as they leave the other women, if only I

could still hear the wind in the trees, the larks in the sunshine, the young lambs crying

through the healthy frost, and the blessed blessed church bells that send my angel voices

floating to me on the wind. But without these things I cannot live; and by your wanting to

take them away from me, or from any human creature, I know that your counsel is of the

devil, and that mine is of God."

This extract is of Joan of Arc giving a speech to her enemies, who have at this point defeated her and now await her death, condeming them for their opinions and actions. Interestingly, despite this being a highly emotional piece, it is punctuated only with fullstops and commas. Perhaps this speech is to be delivered completely deadpan, but more likely the intent was to allow and encourage the reader to place emphasis on whichever sentences in whichever way creates the most dramatic mental image for them as an individual. The absence of any rhetorical questions, or pauses in speech creates the effect that this entire monologue is a fully uninterrupted tirade, that Joan of Arc is the sole focus of her audience, making full use of her opportunity to speak and communicate her point. Furthermore, the language used is incredibly powerful, with phrases like 'foul damp darkness' representing the negativity of the fate decided for her, contrasting extremely with imagery such as 'young lambs crying through the healthy frost' that represents her feelings about her life and faith. Without saying it, the finality of her final sentence in this monologue shows that while she obviously is not happy with her situation, she has resigned herself to it and now simply seeks to retain her moral high ground such that history remembers her prosecutors as villains and Joan herself an example of unwavering faith and devotion. The author further communicates her positive feelings for her religion by making use of tautology, in the phrase 'blessed blessed church bells'. Using the same word twice doubles the importance of the word in the sentence, communicating that Joan found the term important enough to repeat it. By making use of intertextuality, the author even tells us that Joan of Arc is of the Christian faith by using the phrase 'young lambs', which is a reference to the Shepard/Flock metaphors used in Christian texts for God/Humankind. 

As a whole, the entire text is clearly written in Joan of Arc's favor, being spoken by her, and makes excellent use of the contrast between the immorality of her enemies and the pure motives she holds. By starting with using negative language to strike at her opposition, then using very peeaceful and serene imagery to describe her faith, it is as if she is figuratively rising up, as if rising up to heaven or holding the moral 'high ground'.

Superhero of the Month blog

Sadly this blog seems to have died a natural death because only one post is available from August 2nd, although the blog itself is much older. Not sure what happened.

Anyway, a link: http://www.superheroofthemonth.com/
and an extract: 'First, hi. How are all of you? I hope well.

As you all know, I stopped Superhero of the Month. But I still have the domain name until October, and since I have it, I wanted to share this. I recently discoveredTeespring, a Kickstarter of sorts for T-shirts. So you create a campaign, set a goal, and if your goal is hit, your shirt is printed. It's a pretty cool concept for custom clothing.

I designed a Powerpuff Girls / Gotham City Sirens mashup -- The Gothampuff Girls! The shirt is currently campaigning until August 21. Because of the interest of the Superhero of the Month community in comics and comic art, I thought I'd share it.

The shirt is only $15, and though I'm a little biased, I think it's cute. I'm generally critical of my own work, but this is something I really enjoyed, and if you like the Powerpuff Girls, Catwoman, Harley Quinn, or Poison Ivy, please consider buying this shirt. It will only get printed if the goal is met, but I think buyers will enjoy it. And please, share this on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Google+, or whatever you kids are using these days.'

Right at the start the author establishes a discourse with the reader, making some common courtesies and such before then going straight into trying to sell T-shirts. By establishing the illusion of familiarity with the reader, we are more receptive to what this author tells us and from that more likely to invest in a T-shirt. The whole time, the author keeps writing to the reader as if it were one side of a conversation, which is known as synthetic personalisation. While such techniques may seem calculated and cold, I (and perhaps this author) would generally use this style to similar ends, offering my own opinions and pretending to care about the reader's by padding out my advertisement (or anything really) with familiar language and informal discourse.

Suggestion sounds nicer than command

Step out of the light, Dance into the night

leap into tomorrow, let them all follow

go into the air, walk toward the fair

jump up for the day, wind down for the play

run away to the land of quest, of yourself send only the best

clean your clock, dry the dock

ask a query, rest when weary

do the things that need to be done, the world is waiting and you're the one.

fight the bad guys, collect your prize

the well runs wet, there's still work yet

no sleep for the hero, no help for the zero

find a man braver than you, talk to him until you are too

now do the job we asked you to, it's only fair, its one vs two

we appreciate your help and all, but we'd rather YOU be the one to fall

it's clear you are the better man, so go ahead and join your clan

little folk like us run the world, you are the arrow to be hurled

don't worry hero, we'll write a song. Shame it won't be very long.

So ye thinkth Shakespeare art one geniuse?

Tis folly t' assume sucheth factatious wordes art truth
is it not clear that any man can be instigative in sucheth language of fe invention
Is it to be that one man of any can be herladeth a genius late of the utility that are making uppeth wordes?
Tis impressional of oneselfeth truthe that yondereth masses fear one truthage, thy life in terrore cowering of thoughts that one's home nature be discovereth. Certain be it ye learned scholarly ilk more qualifyedly comprehendeth nuance an' oculize betwixt known caricutare as to ascertain deepeth whimsy, however it then follows that those lacking bright of the candle yearn for that which holds them no merit and prompt in their disection do further own ignorances armoring vacancee in there which holdeth all.

Home Work for Monday

This one needs a slight bit of set up to be read properly for people who don't read Discworld novels. The all capital letters text is all speech from the same character. Here it is:

BUT MOST PEOPLE ARE RATHER STUPID AND WASTE THEIR LIVES. HAVE YOU NOT SEEN THAT? HAVE YOU NOT LOOKED DOWN FROM THE HORSE AT A CITY AND THOUGHT HOW MUCH IT RESEMBLED AN ANT HEAP, FULL OF BLIND CREATURES WHO THINK THEIR MUNDANE LITTLE WORLD WAS REAL? YOU SEE THE LIGHTED WINDOWS AND WHAT YOU WANT TO THINK IS THAT THERE MAY BE MANY INTERESTING STORIES BEHIND THEM, BUT WHAT YOU KNOW IS THAT REALLY THERE ARE JUST DULL, DULL SOULS, MERE CONSUMERS OF FOOD, WHO THINK THEIR INSTINCTS ARE EMOTIONS AND THEIR TINY LITTLE LIVES OF MORE ACCOUNT THAN A WHISPER OF WIND.
The blue glow was bottomless. It seemed to be sucking her own thoughts out of her mind.
'No,' whispered Susan, 'no, I've never thought like that.'
Death stood up abruptly and turned away. YOU MAY FIND OUT THAT IT HELPS, he said.



I chose this because I love Terry Pratchett quotes and there are so many good ones on the internet. I also chose it for some of the interesting techniques used in this specific extract from 'Soul Music'. Anyway, the thing that stand out most about this text is of course the large wall of capital letters, which is missing correct punctuation and grammar. First of all the lack of speech marks indicates that Death's communication is not in spoken form, hence no speech marks. The fact that his text is all in capitals, which to some may have created the idea that he was shouting, was to signify that even the 'sound' of his voice was very unique among the characters in his novels.  It may also be worth mentioning that by making such a long statement, it made his 'argument' seem very strong even though it is really based on opinion. Also, 'The blue glow was bottomless' is a very short sentence but almost has more effect by being so simple. The blue glow is simply bottomless. Not bottomless like the depths of the ocean, or the void of space. Just bottomless. It creates more focus on just that one point and allows the reader to project their own connotative ideas onto the text. Finally, the contrast between Death being commanding and gloomy and Susan being mightily downtrodden at hearing such hard words further frames death as this cold, hardened veteran of life (or rather, death) and really provokes the reader to care in some form about the two characters involved.

a bit silly

time to do something a bit odd

the rhymes i spill are ht rhymes of god

let the fun flow through ye

float like the bumblebee

i spy a a little pig that flies

I bet flying pig bacon tastes really nice

run from the scary ghoul

send him back to his ghoul school

its not the time for freaks and frights

this is the time to make rhymes oh so tight

put down that funny little object

or use of it now leads me to object

rhymes of the same word are fine

i'll be more creative down the line

dcosta coffee do very nice drinks

and always clik on dem internet links

but lets not forget why we are here

to remind me i must hear your joyous cheer

i am merely the conduit for joy

the world is your oyster, words are your toy

aha! Indeed a wonderful cheer to right my wrong

i feel  i could compose all night long, the spark of passion glows very strong

the night is still young

and silver be my tongue

its time to go where no one can know

in which there is only one way to go

up

rise into the clouds and hold onto your hat

dont look down and prepare to be flat

there is no down here

nor there nor here

but is really late

and my mind is sate

so for now we end this tale of whimsy

as I'm starting to feel a little bit mimsy

ehhhh homework and sniffles ehhhh

Daft Punk make it all better though. It's good music to listen to while doing homework because there aren't many lyrics so you don't get distracted trying to listen what the words are. I also like this kind of music because you can apply your own meaning and scenarios to the songs, I often find people like songs not because of what the artist wrote them about is something they relate to, but more because they have their own memories and ideas it invokes in them.

uuuurrrrrgggghhhh

it hurts

Sattin around

SO here i am just satting around and I felt like I had to post summit. I fought it might be fun to just misuse langwage for a bit. Sinse I spend so much time respectin the rules of grammar etc etc i like not worrying abowt doing everyfink right but still carrying my meening. I CN US TXTSPK LK IM WRTN N HRRY, 0R U53 101 5P34K C4U53 1M 50 1337. or i can just mispel words like i wos stil in primery shcool and onle use the most basik puncttoasion. siriuosly kids onle use comas and full stops but they dont know wen to use comas so thay onle put them owt wen finishd wiv ther fort, and Even Just Capitlaising The First Letter Of Every Word Is Kind Of Annoying To Some People Hot On Their Grammar And Who Feel The Need To Constantly Correct Each Other's Grammar, Sometimes Even In Spoken Conversations Which Is The Worst. or using the wrong homophones, something I simply can't bear. I hate when bares stair at me. Good grammar is scars these daze, or even words that just sound QUIET similar two each other. I field die half one a factory here again stammer, Und ich can even incorporate multiple languages, also ich sprechen Deutsch, English und nicht much neben.

Arrite I'ma done messin aroun here know whut i mean, blud badman ting man dem babylon hooligan raggamuffin lau it batty boi?

A thing called music

One of the things I most often hear about dubstep is that it's not 'real' music. That because it has no melody or vocals it has no meaning, no musical structure. I say that's poop. Did you know when the electric guitar was invented the general population thought it was the music of the devil, just screechy dissonance with no musical merit? Something the kids would get over in a matter of years, a fad born out of the youth's desire to rebel and be different to the previous generation. Then, as we all know Rock and Roll became the most succesful musical genre ever, capturing millions of people's hearts and souls, inspiring countless works and movements, bringing our culture out of the repressive early 20th century into the decadent, liberated times we live today.

Adults and the Elderly say similar things about dubstep now. It's 'Just noise' to them. I ask you, what is music if not 'just noise'? If dubstep is not real music, what about manufactured artists and bands like Justin Bieber or One Direction? They do not write their songs or their music, their moves are choreographed, their tours planned by managers, their sponsors decided for them. Is that 'real' music simply because it has words and a standard melody? What about beatboxing? Is beatboxing music? Of course it is. So is One Direction, so is Rock and Roll and so is dubstep.

One great thing I heard from the mother of my half-sister was that to her dubstep sounds like factory noises (that being why she didn't really like it when compared to her favorites such as Billy Joel or Ben Howard). I actually quite liked that because in a way she was right. What music could possibly sum up this generation better than the sounds of the factory? The school system: Churning out the future workforce with no regard to individuality, recognising special needs only when there is a bit of paper to authenticate it, forcing every malleable young mind through the same mold, acting like it is the fault of the product when the the assembly line has failed. The factory of our future. If Mozart was born today his genius would likely never have been properly nurtured. How could he focus on music, his life's work when first he had a legal obligation to sit through science and geography lessons, knowing full well his place was behind the piano and not scribbling down calculations and locations. If Mozart was born today, no doubt he would be called a drop-out and a lout. The factory is all we know, from age five to death. After we leave school we take our places in an even larger factory, but instead of the goods being handled we are the cogs of the machinery that keep it all running, the lubricant and the moving parts, the technicians and the button-pushers. If Rock and Roll was the sound of freedom, dubstep is the sound of seven billion caged monkeys.

What's the difference between a pun and a penguin?

Nun.

Finality

Don't you know I spill truth forthright,
consider yourself a learned man tonight,
it may be that you are none too bright,
but let that not deter you in search of the light.

It's known the only thing to dread is fear,
I contest that you should fear what is here,
as my words of terror penetrate the ear,
I know everything, see it like the seer.

I'm the prime master doomsayer,
If this is a game I'm the number one player,
the only thing that can save you now is your prayer,
cause they dubbed me the worlds greatest word slayer

If you choose this warning the one not to hark,
your puny little mind will be flooded with the dark,
my predictions are few, my predictions are stark
and I foresee for you a rough ride like the bark

If it comforts you, we are all in this boat.
Do not mistake my rhymes for a gloat,
any can hear it in the cry of the stoat,
we are all drowning, barely just afloat.

Emergent from the festering pit of hate,
for the human race it is far too late.
Now it is just the matter of the wait,
The only remnants are that which we create.

Armstrong and Miller - RAF pilots - D Day

Above is the Armstrong and Miller sketch in which they are rather genteel RAF pilots about to fight in 'D Day'.

Near the end of the scene the troop carrier lands on the beach. The commanding officer says 'Right! Company! Attention!' at which point the two men I presume to be Armstrong and Miller say:
'Why is he so strict, man?' to which his partner replies:
'I don't know man, he's like really uptight. Some people never relax on holiday, isn't it?'

The humor of the scene comes from a couple different techniques used here. One is the disconnect between the intense atmosphere caused by the dangerous situation at hand and the two RAF pilots who are not clued in to the gravity of the situation whatsoever, instead quipping at eachother and the commanding officer about the 'holiday' they are on.

Secondly is the fact that the two RAF men are seemingly emulating the lexis of modern youths, as evidenced by using fillers such as 'like' or referring to eachother as 'man'. What makes it comedic is that these two men seem to fulfill the extremely gentlemanly stereotype of early 20th century men, so for them to be using such modern colloquial words (or at least I think that's what they are doing, it could be some kind of other era-specific comedy) is wacky and absurd. It is also interesting that they utilize both frozen and colloquial register to create this effect.

There also is a visual gag in that every other man on deck is dressed for war with helmets, weaponry and other such utilities, while Armstong and Miller are wearing standard RAF uniforms, smoking from tobacco pipes and Miller is even wearing an inflatable rubber ring for what he assumes to be a frolic on the beaches of Normandy.

Alltogether the impression is created that these fellows are extremely out of their debt, with humor coming from the fact that they are completely oblivious to their folly and in fact quite discombobulated by the entire matter, being that they are completely out of their element.

More experimentation with site features

This is a Heading

followed by a sub-heading

And now a minor heading

and then back to normal text.

this is a lazy comedy device

A Lewis Carroll poem but in another register because homework

Carol: Oh, hello there dear, how was that... thing you were doing?

Lewis: You mean the Borogroves, dear?

Carol: I think so, are they the mimsy ones?

Lewis: Quite right! Yes, it was most bryllyg, but there was just one thing that I felt really held it back for me in terms of enjoyment...

Carol: Oh do tell, love, you know I would have been there if it weren't for the... the incident...

Lewis: Hush dear, let us not speak of that now on such a brembly day. Anyway, as I was saying, it was the slythy toves, you see. I know a good tove when I see one, but these were gyring and gimbling all over the wabe! It just simply won't do!

Carol: My, my, they don't brumel them like they used to you know. Just the other day I was renbling down to the local fariden when one glew right over me! Gave me the firght of my life, it did!

Lewis: Really? That's positively barmy! If that were me my mome raths would habe been in a total state of outgrabe! Not to mention the camlinfences!

Carol: Aye, these are troubled times indeed when a woman can't even herve to the nearby fariden without this kind of outlandish nonsense...

Lewis: Right you are, Car, right you are...




In case you didn't realize, this was the original four lines of the Jabberwocky poem made to look like it could potentially have been made of actual words when in fact it was mostly nonsensical gibberish. Here it is for comparison:

Twas bryllyg, and ye slythy toves
Did gyre and gymble in ye wabe:
All mimsy were ye borogoves;
And ye mome raths outgrabe.

I always quite liked it because it did at first fool me into thinking at first it was what I now know to be named 'frozen register', which it is actually not. Anyway, I decided to make it intimate to play with the idea that had these been real words in the English language (plus a few of my own made up words in the same vein) they would be used in conversation as if it was entirely normal. However, I added in lots of extra conversation filler to make it more accessible to those who are not completely insane, while making use of all Caroll's original gibberish and using some of my own where appropriate, allowing the reader to provide their own context and meaning to the situation. 

I had Carol refer to 'the incident' in order to further give the reader the sense that these two characters know each other well, and obviously they refer to each other with terms of affection such as 'dear', or perhaps more aimed at Bristolian readers, 'love'. Anyway I hope I did this right.

Feedback Loop

Language has been censored and super useful torrent search bar has been replaced with cute puppies.

I almost feel like ranting about taboo words and capitalism but I feel both merciful and slightly ill today so instead I will just do as I am asked without any real complaining.

dodedodedo inspector gadget!

Oh yes! Check out all the cool new gadgets I put on my page! I got a fish pond, I got Earth and Moon day night cycles, I got bitesize greek mythology and harry potter spells, I got a search bar for torrents for when you want things but cant be bothered paying for them and I probably have some others ive already forgotten about!
Also check it out you can search for videos and share them using blogger, I hope this doesn't mean the fascist level filters on the school computers block my blog because that would suck...

Yeah, you can't even go on certain wikipedia pages. That's how you know it's gone too far. Freaking censorship. As long as we don't try to download viruses what's the freaking problem? If people want to go on facebook and youtube during classes then it's their own future their jeopardizing and they are the ones who will get in [NON-EXPLETIVE PLACEHOLDER] if they get caught by the teacher! Better to root out the weeds early on if you ask me, it would be conducive to a much more focused learning experience. Anyway, there's always a way to get round the filters (proxies and such) so anyone who REALLY wants to mess about on the internet can if they try hard enough. But whatever, I don't make the rules and I also don't know for sure I wouldn't be one of those people checking their facebooks in lessons if it was easy, so it's probably better for me at least if at least that stays blocked. Still don't agree with the whole 'not being able to look at any page except educational or boring ones, and sometimes not even then'.

Rant over. I don't even remember what set me off.

P.S. How cool is it that my blog is already better than Hallas! So glad to be part of the technogeneration (Tek-Noj-Er-Ay-Shun)!

A Priori or A Posteriori (and no that's not a butt joke)?

I figured philosophy essays counted as stuff I wrote too so I thought I may as well post it here in case anyone is interested, we actually are encouraged to write as if we were explaining to a child (the idea being that children will always ask why and it shouldn't be assumed that the reader already knows anything about the topic) so if I did well this should be comprehensible for most people, especially English language students. Anyway, here it is copy-pasted directly from my computer:

A Priori and A Posteriori                 Isaac Hampson

To understand the differences between a Priori and a Posteriori knowledge we must first understand what each of these means. A priori most literally means 'from the earlier', but here in this philosophical context means 'before experience'. This is information that can be known without actually having experienced it, hence 'before experience'. A posteriori literally means 'from the later' but in this context has the meaning of 'after experience'. This is information we cannot truly know until we have experienced it.

Assuming you know the correct application and meaning of the word 'square' you would know that all squares have four sides of equal length, a priori. You know this because if the square had three or five sides, it would be a triangle or pentagon and if the sides were not of equal length it would be a rhombus, trapezium or any other four sided shape that is not a square. By very definition, a square must be square. It is necessary that all squares are square-shaped. Similarly, a widow is defined as a female whose husband has perished. A woman who has never married can therefore not be a widow, if she had no husband to begin with. Also, a wife whose husband still lives and has no dead ex-husbands cannot be a widow. Only a woman who fits the exact criteria of a widow can be called widowed.

On the other hand one might say an egg tastes like an egg. This is not necessarily true. While a large number of eggs do taste like eggs, some contain embryos and thus taste like embryo, others are rotten and therefore taste rotten. The only way to truly know precisely what an egg tastes like is to taste it yourself. Even if someone else has tasted the egg and tells you it tastes as it should, all you know is that the other person believes it to taste like it should. If you then taste the egg also, you may find that it does in fact taste like an egg, or you may find that your opinion on the egg differs to that of your peer. Relating it back to the widow, one can say a Priori that she had a husband, who is now dead. You can say this without doubt before even getting out of bed in the morning. However, to say that she was upset about the death of her husband would require you to not only get out of bed, but also then go and find the widow and experience for yourself whether she is unhappy or not (perhaps by asking her). Before having experienced her answer you cannot know if she is unhappy or not, that is knowledge that can only be ascertained a Posteriori.

By looking at the above examples we can begin to understand the key differences between a priori knowledge and a posteriori knowledge. The first and most obvious difference is that in order for something to be known a priori, it must be true by definition or else be disqualified from it's classification (a square that is not a square is not a square), whereas a posteriori knowledge is variable and therefore impossible to accurately predict 100% of the time. (a rotten egg would outwardly appear to be the same as any egg, only once experiments have been performed can the nature of the egg be discerned). Simply put, a priori knowledge is necessarily true, a posteriori knowledge is not always true but not always false.

The second difference is that a priori knowledge can be verified by reason (and language) by the human consciousness a priori. As long as the meaning or criteria are clear, one can deduce with certainty some truths or falsities. A posteriori knowledge require proof, empirical experience based on current experience and not on memory, logic or expectation.

Conclusively, by their very definition all a priori knowledge can be known a priori, and all a posteriori knowledge can be known a posteriori. Usually, it is our brain that comprehends a priori knowledge with help from the senses, and our senses that relay a posteriori knowledge to the brain.

Oh snap who's this with the pimp blog?

What do you know about blogs, hater? Nothing! I got lightning 'cause that's how fast my brain is. I'm like Usain Bolt but instead of running fast I'm a freaking genius. Even Thor doesn't wanna mess with this. I'm the god of thunder, son. Zeus ain't got nothing on me. People cling to me like iron filings cling to any object this static. I'm so bright if you look at me you go blind. You see me, then hear me three seconds later. What? Am I too fast for you? Will get used to it Slowpoke. There's no taming this level of sheer voltage. One time they tried to use me to resurrect a Frankenstein's monster. It worked, but he died of fright right after. You know my flow is original, because lightning never strikes the same place twice, unless that place is the bullseye in which case I hit every time. 

Yeah. Damn straight. You know what's up.

This time I wrote a joke.

Where do chick peas come from?



Chicken peas.

badumtsh

Hey! What's with all the poetry, bro?

I must confess I do not know,

Of the pull that guides me so.

One day I felt a little tickle,

And so the words began to trickle.

Usually I like to tell tales,

Usually my attention fails.

I write my rhymes in lots of two,

But now I yearn for something new.

I'm not sure how to transition in style,

my previous attempts raise only bile.

Is such a change too visually jarring?

I should just try it and see how it ends,

I feel as if I am verbally sparring.

Words are my enemy but still my best friends.

Something there is not quite right,

but for now I tire and withdraw from the fight.

Where is that spark I know when I need it?

Why is my poetry worse when I read it?

Poetry Doesn't Have to Rhyme? A 'poem'

A learned man told me poems need not rhyme
or have even numbers of syllables
if that is the case
what is a poem?
Does hitting the enter key a bunch of times make anything into poetry?
Or creating pretentious metaphors as a deity creates life?
someone should do something about this
It's like that guy who wrote the song of silence
or the painting of a blank canvas
it's like you can just do nothing and call it art
i call that laziness
I mean, look at this!
It's just half sentences stuck randomly on different lines.
freaking poets man...
this is why I took english lang and not english lit.
some people just feel the need to be different
but in the most annoying way possible
and that is the end of this ditty.
if i was rhyming I'd now exactly what to rhyme with ditty.
and no, you can't rhyme words with the same word either.
ok?

Flow of Creation (first draft)

as the summer draws to a close
the young man constructs his prose,
sheltered from the chill of night
after the dark will follow the light,
the soul of creation flows in the veins
a million thunderstorms bright in the brain,
hurtling through the void of space
uncertain futures we all face,
as humanity rises to grace.

Sitting in a box of four black walls,
music echoes through these empty halls
only when the sun has risen
will we truly learn to listen
perhaps it is all for nought
but certainly worth a second thought
do we deserve? Do we preserve?
perhaps only time can tell,
but will we hear the wake-up bell?

is it all here by design and intent?
Are we simply beasts of descent?
Are we defined by the past,
or always malleable til the last?
so many questions just out of reach
some knowledge is not to teach
now is the time to learn,
our legacy is only earned.
Only through the power of word
our true nature can be heard.
tis not the time for conflict and war,
nothing is worth fighting for
when truth and beauty illuminate the earth
finally we can ascend from our turf.





And there we have it. This was my first real attempt at actually writing poetry, and I thought it went pretty well considering. Maybe one day I'll come back to this and polish it a bit but for now this will do just fine.

Another untitled poem

There must be something that rhymes with grammar,
but the closest i can find is s-stammer.
I construct my prose in this manner,
perhaps one day it will earn me a manor.

These poems get progressively longer,
at the same time my words grow stronger.
However it seems to be time to stop,
so for now this artful flow will drop.

Another poem I just wrote

this is truly my masterpiece,
but no-one call the grammar police,
or I fear I shall be promptly detained
and all this knowledge left unretained.

A slightly longer Poem

This poem would appear to be only three lines,
The words and meaning sprout like vines,
nothing rhymes with purple.

A Short Poem

Nothing rhymes with orange,

Except maybe Borange.

Isaac Hampson: The Man, The Legend, The Obituary

Where to start unravelling these threads of knitwear so enigmatic? Starting in the middle doesn't seem right, and starting at the end would result in a very short obituary so perhaps we should start at birth, as I'd rather avoid any accounts of the conception.

Isaac Elliott Hampson was born in the seaside city of Brighton. I don't really remember what happened after that, so we are skipping to age two, by which time the Hampson family unit had returned to life on the road. In his first few years he would have visited more countries than in the rest of his years combined, including destinations such as Siberia and South Asia, In fact, he would live the New Age Traveler life all the way to age seven, and have met many of the diverse characters expected along the way. It is thought it was his travels that gifted him with a high lev of tolerance for all kinds of life experiences, whether it's being stuck with savage children who would be most at home in 'Lord of the Flies' for friends, or listening to the opinions of the borderline insane. Despite this, he would always look back on those times with pride and nostalgia.

As is the case with many who live unusual lives, he developed an unusual outlook on the world, and reflected this in what little he had written before his tragic death on the 3rd of September 2013. He displayed a deep passion for creating art with his words, as evidenced in his final great work, a poem constructed of rhyming couplets called 'Flow of Creation', the very same poem that elevated his status within the ranks of posthumously discovered genius to be on par with the likes of Vincent Van Gogh himself.

In his spare time, he would practice freerunning and parkour, as a firm believer in balance of body and mind. Had he lived long enough he almost certainly would have written about the philosophy of parkour, much like Bruce Lee, one of his idols, did about Kung Fu.

Speaking of philosophy, it's a good thing solipsism proved to be untrue, otherwise this obituary would never exist, and to leave the death of such an important and influential figure in the world of word unmarked would be a wickedly woeful event. Luckily, it would seem that the universe does in fact exist with Isaac having been a part of it, rather than the reverse. In other words, nothing to worry about for now.

As this article draws (or should that be 'writes'? Perhaps 'types'?) to a close, the most suitable final words would of course be his final words uttered from the hospital bed, those being: 'Someone please write my obituary and upload it to my blog...'

blog URLS of my class

http://hallaslanguageblog.blogspot.co.uk/

http://graceslanguageblog.blogspot.co.uk/

http://EnglishLanguageJO.blogspot.com/

http://emmaslanguageblog.blogspot.co.uk/

http://shaniceslanguageblog.blogspot.co.uk/

http://jadeslanguageblog.blogspot.com/

http://sophierobbins130079.blogspot.com/

http://bethslanguageblog.blogspot.com/

http://beththornelanguage.blogspot.com/

http://josielanguage.blogspot.com/

http://juniorcadima.blogspot.co.uk/

http://robothuck.blogspot.co.uk/ <---- Best Blog

http://angelicakingsenglishlanguageblog.blogspot.co.uk/

http://dwaynesasblog.blogspot.co.uk/

http://liamsasblog.blogspot.co.uk/

http://racheljefferies.blogspot.co.uk/

http://abitt97.blogspot.co.uk/

http://ruairiegan17.blogspot.co.uk/

http://bethaniewiltshire.blogspot.co.uk/

http://hazzer1301.blogspot.co.uk/

http://deekahussein.blogspot.co.uk/

http://bethanysylvester.blogspot.co.uk/

A couple of decent textracts

“The gods of the Disc have never bothered much about judging the souls of the dead, and so people only go to hell if that's where they believe, in their deepest heart, that they deserve to go. Which they won't do if they don't know about it. This explains why it is so important to shoot missionaries on sight.”
This is a quote from one of Terry Pratchett's Discworld novels that really shows one his formulae for creating humor. First he parodies a concept that exists in real life, in this case he has chosen 'the afterlife'. Then he explains it in the simplest of terms as a setup for the final line, which is invariably either a philosophical insight, an absurd but intelligent joke, or both. While his writing rarely provokes me to laugh out loud, the ability to look at modern topics and problems in a mature and entertaining way by relating it all to a fantastical deconstruction of the pre-Victorian world is a truly wonderful gift. This next extract is also from a Terry Pratchett book, because that man is my inspiration and my hero so I thought he deserved at least two entries.



“Do you know what it feels like to be aware of every star, every blade of grass? Yes. You do. You call it 'opening your eyes again.' But you do it for a moment. We have done it for eternity. No sleep, no rest, just endless... endless experience, endless awareness. Of everything. All the time. How we envy you, envy you! Lucky humans, who can close your minds to the endless deeps of space! You have this thing you call... boredom? That is the rarest talent in the universe! We heard a song — it went 'Twinkle twinkle little star....' What power! What wondrous power! You can take a billion trillion tons of flaming matter, a furnace of unimaginable strength, and turn it into a little song for children! You build little worlds, little stories, little shells around your minds, and that keeps infinity at bay and allows you to wake up in the morning without screaming!”

The above is an example of Terry Pratchett with his more serious work. It is a common theme in his books that often the primary characters are more (or perhaps less) than human, whether that means Death himself, Monks who slice through time, creatures from another plane of existence, Wizards who possess the highest degree of wisdom and yet not an ounce of sense or even the soul of music itself. Because of this, Pratchett can write words into the mouths of mysteriously powerful beings, and from there offer new perspectives on life itself. Often but not always humorous, it is paragraphs like these that remind me how grounded in our own opinions we all are.



This next one is the opening for a numbered list article as seen on Cracked.com.

'A billion people have been lifted out of poverty in just the last 20 years. Did you know that? Do you know how it happened? Do you sit around thinking about how wonderful that is?
I don't. I'm too angry that Comcast tried to charge me for a service call when the reason for the call was a defective Comcast modem. But I suppose that in the course of complaining about the state of the economy, politics, and shitty broadband Internet we should take a moment to notice that we're living in the glorious golden age of civilization and that life is improving for the species at a dizzying rate not even hippies could have hoped for in their smelliest dreams.
Why do we find it so hard to do that? Well …'
This text itself means little to me but again is an example of my tastes in literature. If I'm not lost in a fantasy world when reading then chances are I'm reading factual work, but not the boring 'Did you know there are no penguins on the north pole?' kind. Instead, I like information to enter my brain lubricated with comedy so that it doesn't hurt to cram it in through my eyes and ears anymore and instead tickles only the funniest of my funny bones to the point that learning feels like an experience to look forward to, rather than simply accepted as necessary to further my education. There are some writers whose style I prefer to others, and some jokes that leave me feeling stupider for having heard them, but overall I find reading these articles to be an enjoyable, easily digested learning experience best suited for those times when you want to stimulate your brain without the need for audible communication.