A couple of decent textracts

“The gods of the Disc have never bothered much about judging the souls of the dead, and so people only go to hell if that's where they believe, in their deepest heart, that they deserve to go. Which they won't do if they don't know about it. This explains why it is so important to shoot missionaries on sight.”
This is a quote from one of Terry Pratchett's Discworld novels that really shows one his formulae for creating humor. First he parodies a concept that exists in real life, in this case he has chosen 'the afterlife'. Then he explains it in the simplest of terms as a setup for the final line, which is invariably either a philosophical insight, an absurd but intelligent joke, or both. While his writing rarely provokes me to laugh out loud, the ability to look at modern topics and problems in a mature and entertaining way by relating it all to a fantastical deconstruction of the pre-Victorian world is a truly wonderful gift. This next extract is also from a Terry Pratchett book, because that man is my inspiration and my hero so I thought he deserved at least two entries.



“Do you know what it feels like to be aware of every star, every blade of grass? Yes. You do. You call it 'opening your eyes again.' But you do it for a moment. We have done it for eternity. No sleep, no rest, just endless... endless experience, endless awareness. Of everything. All the time. How we envy you, envy you! Lucky humans, who can close your minds to the endless deeps of space! You have this thing you call... boredom? That is the rarest talent in the universe! We heard a song — it went 'Twinkle twinkle little star....' What power! What wondrous power! You can take a billion trillion tons of flaming matter, a furnace of unimaginable strength, and turn it into a little song for children! You build little worlds, little stories, little shells around your minds, and that keeps infinity at bay and allows you to wake up in the morning without screaming!”

The above is an example of Terry Pratchett with his more serious work. It is a common theme in his books that often the primary characters are more (or perhaps less) than human, whether that means Death himself, Monks who slice through time, creatures from another plane of existence, Wizards who possess the highest degree of wisdom and yet not an ounce of sense or even the soul of music itself. Because of this, Pratchett can write words into the mouths of mysteriously powerful beings, and from there offer new perspectives on life itself. Often but not always humorous, it is paragraphs like these that remind me how grounded in our own opinions we all are.



This next one is the opening for a numbered list article as seen on Cracked.com.

'A billion people have been lifted out of poverty in just the last 20 years. Did you know that? Do you know how it happened? Do you sit around thinking about how wonderful that is?
I don't. I'm too angry that Comcast tried to charge me for a service call when the reason for the call was a defective Comcast modem. But I suppose that in the course of complaining about the state of the economy, politics, and shitty broadband Internet we should take a moment to notice that we're living in the glorious golden age of civilization and that life is improving for the species at a dizzying rate not even hippies could have hoped for in their smelliest dreams.
Why do we find it so hard to do that? Well …'
This text itself means little to me but again is an example of my tastes in literature. If I'm not lost in a fantasy world when reading then chances are I'm reading factual work, but not the boring 'Did you know there are no penguins on the north pole?' kind. Instead, I like information to enter my brain lubricated with comedy so that it doesn't hurt to cram it in through my eyes and ears anymore and instead tickles only the funniest of my funny bones to the point that learning feels like an experience to look forward to, rather than simply accepted as necessary to further my education. There are some writers whose style I prefer to others, and some jokes that leave me feeling stupider for having heard them, but overall I find reading these articles to be an enjoyable, easily digested learning experience best suited for those times when you want to stimulate your brain without the need for audible communication.